Love Is Not Dead: Opposing Interests in Relationships

Mild trigger warning: this post briefly delves into the topic of emotional relationship abuse. If that is a touchy subject for you, you might prefer this quirky post on The McAl(l)ister’s Effect

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I left myself behind /
Never knowing what I wanted, /
Knowing what I needed you to do. /
Reflections you used to see /
Never looked alike to me.

– CHVRCHES, “Get Out,” Love is Dead

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lidI’ve been listening to a lot of the band CHVRCHES lately due to the release of their latest album, which is just absolutely brilliant. Love is Dead — easily the best album of their career — immediately gives long-standing electropop favorites like Kye Kye and Purity Ring and run for their money. It’s one of those great albums that is incredibly hard to finish because I always want to hit the back button and repeat the tracks over and over again. Especially the tracks “Deliverance,” “My Enemy,” and “Wonderland,” but this isn’t an album review.

I told my wife Nikki about this amazing audio experience — about the 80’s inspired sound and the beautiful thematic consistency, the insightful lyrics and relatable topics, and about how the band is changing the face of pop music as we know it. And then she destroyed my enthusiasm with just one short sentence: “Her voice gets on my nerves.”  Continue reading “Love Is Not Dead: Opposing Interests in Relationships”

Five Stereotypes for Husbands and How to Defy Them

When my wife and I moved to the Midwest after dating for eight years and getting married last April, I think a small part of me was hoping the marriage stereotypes of our American rural South upbringing would just go away. Based on the people we’ve met, while the cultural standards are certainly less prevalent, I still see these five things ingrained in the worldview of husbands.

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Myth #1: You have to be a fixer.


I admit I may be fighting a stereotype with a stereotype, but it sure seems like guys have a tendency to try to fix things. When it comes to cars, computers, or leaky pipes, this is fine, but it’s important to resist the temptation to be a fixer when it comes to emotions.

Continue reading “Five Stereotypes for Husbands and How to Defy Them”

Rom-Com Week! “What If” and Bantering Towards a Proper Love Story

It’s Rom-Com Week! And I couldn’t be more excited to share my three favorite rom-coms and how they’re symbolic of real life relationship situations.

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Today we’re looking at Chantry and Wallace in What If and how the film uses flirting to accurately develop a romantic relationship. If you haven’t seen the film, it’s on Amazon Prime Instant Video. You’ll derive more enjoyment, of course, if you go cuddle up with your guy, girl, cat, or dog, watch the movie, then come back here to finish reading. Continue reading “Rom-Com Week! “What If” and Bantering Towards a Proper Love Story”

Five Important Pieces of Breakup Advice

I know that no relationship is the same, and so to answer this question with any kind of direct statements would be nothing but naive. I also know that no relationship is black and white, and each one consists of individual nuances unique to the couple. For the guy and the girl, or any combination of the such, any point you get to past “friendly dating” means there are intense emotional strings that tie the two together. Breaking up is one of the most difficult things to do in life, no matter what kind of emotional disposition the two of you have

Continue reading “Five Important Pieces of Breakup Advice”

Three Ways We Can All Stop Jumping to Conclusions

I’ll bet you’ve already assumed from the title that I feel negatively about the idea of jumping to conclusions. If so, you’d be right, and this is one of the very few instances where you jumping to a conclusion actually turned out okay.

I live life with a short list of overall objectives. These are just things that seem right, moral, and loving. One item on that list is that I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, which releases them from any judgement they may not be able to defend against. I will never judge someone based on how another person or group of people views his or her life. Jumping to conclusions about a person, attacking them consciously and avoid their influence in your life, is really an ineffective strategy for showing love, which is of particular importance to me. And while it may be natural to annihilate any influence that may run counter to your worldview, I feel it really only shown an underlying lack of confidence in your own paradigm. Continue reading “Three Ways We Can All Stop Jumping to Conclusions”