Appreciating Everyday Life

The normal happenings of each day help beautify our lives. They are like the trees planted to spruce up a city block, or perhaps a painting in a room acting as a fixture to draw the eyes. They may be hard to notice in the moment, but the sum of our moments would be far lass valuable without them. I simply appreciate that life exists and I am part of it.

In my introductory post for Normal Happenings, I said, “if you ever catch me straying, remind me to go back and read this post.” Perhaps this post should be added to that arsenal as well, readied for the day I inevitably fall off the wagon and start speaking incomprehensible gibberish that only makes sense in my own head.

I want to take this time of relative respite, while the big events of the past few months — things like Tracking Shells or the Blog Awards — to reemphasize what Normal Happenings is all about. I’ll call it a renewal of vows, if you will, perhaps because I’ve recently been concerned I’m reaching a bit too far outside of my writing core. It’s important I slow my roll and do a deep-dive into my own motivations. After all, over-ambition can get the best of me — a topic I intend to discuss in an upcoming post.

I see so many of my friends and family so transfixed by the darker aspects of life — rightly so, events can seem pretty bleak when all goes wrong — that they’re no longer phased by moments of levity. It’s something I like to call anti-naivete. This failure to pierce the heart’s emotion makes me mortified of people when they’re turned off by a cheesy love story or are unable to find happiness in another’s accomplishments.

This past year of writing my heart and sharing in the memories and experiences of others has led me to some real moments of clarity. In a manner, I write this blog out of selfishness. That may not be the right word, but what I’m feeling fits the spirit of the word. Perhaps a better label to put on Normal Happenings is self-preservation, as selfishness implies a negative where none exists. I write about appreciating everyday life because it grounds me to a reality that there’s more to life than darkness. Or rather, it’s the small but glorious events of life that ground me. I write to share them with others and literally make the world a better place. One year ago I had one reason to attempt to renovate the world through words; now I have 563 of them. Well, minus the spam accounts — I hope the robots find what they’re looking for.

I take moments to watch the dust riding on the sunbeams filtering through the window blinds because I seek beauty in a life where solace can seem scarce if I forget where to look. Whether this is the first time you’ve read a post here, or you’ve read every single post I’ve ever written over the past year, I’m genuinely just glad you’re along for the ride. Come help the world appreciate everyday life.

“Change this something normal / into something beautiful”
– Jars of Clay

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– By Nikki –

I hear a voice more harsh than a gunshot whispering in my ear.

“No one will understand, listen, or care about you,” it claims, wrapping it’s arms around my neck and dragging me out of the existing moment I am participating in. I struggle against the weight of the constricting arms that are slowly choking me to death. I try to to verbalize what is going on, but all that I see is your hard face not noticing me.

I close my eyes and allow the darkness to overtake me.

I don’t feel anything.
I don’t have an opinion. Continue reading “Light”

Facing Yourself: Escaping the Black Hole of Depression

– By Nikki – 

Mild trigger warning: if you struggle with depression or any related mental health issues, you’ll find this journey familiar. Be advised this post could be a difficult read.  

Imagine that you have been silent for the majority of your life. That silence turns into a big black hole constantly sucking away your desires, dreams, and goals. Life itself slows down, and you begin to see it stretch out before you and every person that you know is moving forward in life. You cannot move forward – you only look backward at the moment when everything changed, and you realize that you are stuck at the event horizon of that black hole. People on the outside see you and nothing has changed, but on the inside you are being stretched to the point of absolute destruction. You wonder if it will ever end. Continue reading “Facing Yourself: Escaping the Black Hole of Depression”