We’re pairing 8-bit music thematically, rather than based entirely on series. You can find this track and more Tater-Tot Tunes on YouTube! Stop by and jam to some great tunes.
Normal Happenings is proud to present The Characters That Define Us, a year long collaboration of 52+ incredible bloggers!
We promised you two pieces today, and who better to fulfill the guarantee than Winst0lf, The Bizzaro Mage? Winst0lf has always been a friend to Normal Happenings, and we’re so thankful to have him on board. Once you get done here, check out his previous contribution to Tracking Shells.
But for the here and now, we’ve got a great piece. Let’s get started!
Let’s talk High Fantasy for a second, shall we?
The witches are always wicked, the dwarves always digging for gold and the elves, those arch, beautiful things, live within the fluted cities famed throughout Middle Earth, or whichever fantasy locale you prefer.
But what if somebody, some wonderfully talented Polish scribe, mixed the worlds of High Fantasy, European folklore and just a dash of satire and modern political intrigue? What kind of hero would live in this dour, salty, occasionally heart warming world? Who would Henry Cavill play, were this strange world to be made into a Netflix series?
This guy right here, Geralt of Rivia, the Butcher of Blaviken himself.
Geralt is a Witcher (a translation error, as in his native Poland he is actually a Hexer), a professional hunter of monsters that, despite their unrivalled combat skills, are shunned by society, even feared. For Witchers are both more than human and, simultaneously, less than human. Trained from childhood, these longsword wielding warriors are also exposed to weird, gross mutagens that make them stronger, faster and also give them creepy cat eyes and dull their emotions (so, like a cat I guess, the uncaring little buggers)!
It’s already tough being a Witcher, so imagine what would happen if one got involved with a Child of Prophecy (complete with time warping powers) and, if that isn’t already intriguing enough, then got involved with a political conspiracy between the King of Temeria and the invading Nilfgaardian army! Talk about having your hands full!
Yet this snowy haired, scarred warrior never complains about his challenges, be they amnesia, romantic woes, the general unpleasantness of the people around him or even chasing his beloved daughter figure Cirilla across the land, trying to save her from the ghostly troop of bad dudes known as the Wild Hunt. He’s stoic and grumpy, but also caring at heart, surprisingly fun with a few drinks in him and also satisfyingly open minded about those marginalised by society, up to and including the very monsters he hunts.
Geralt is definitely the most interesting part of Andrzej Sapkowski’s books and CD Projekt Red actually fleshed him out even further, as well as adding a silver sword to his arsenal, alongside his steel one, to fight off beasts. The two blades are iconic in this series, as are the wolf’s head medallion he uses to detect the presence of monsters.
Fighting by his side are his best friends, Dandelion the bard and Zoltan the dwarf, as well as his trusty (yet unimaginably stupid) horse Roach. He’s a fine friend to them all, even going so far as to have a fine stable built for Roach at the end of their adventures as a reward for her hard work.
So we have established that he attack and that he protect, he’s also really good at seducing the ladies and usually takes any break he can get in that department, even going so far as to get some sexy picture cards from his satisfied lovers in the first game. Though his one true love will always be Yennefer, obviously. (Not Triss!)
Did I mention that he can also cast magical spells, drink enhancing potions and even make hand grenades to lob at gangs of nasty Nekkers? I mean, come on, he’s an absolute unit, and that is why he is definitely the best video game protagonist of all time, even better than that silent scientist bloke or even the dude that glides about firing magical arrows at octopus-ish spider robots.
Thank you all for your time and attention, my friends, and remember, if you ever have a really big pest problem, call for Mr. Of Rivia to come along and sort it out, if his horse can find you.
Adventure Map! *FINISHING UP!*